I had this dream Friday night/Saturday morning.It's now Sunday morning and I haven't been able to shake it.This dream was very Inception like,meaning I had a dream within a dream.I had dream that I had a dream about jumping off a bridge at night.When I woke up(now in dream 2),I kept thinking all of these diving techniques that would allow someone to jump off a bridge and live.Someone had hired me to come up with these techniques.I could see myself diving off the Brooklyn bridge,it was dark... nighttime.Everything was fuzzy,yet bright.
The dream left such profound effect on me that when I actually awoke,I researched all morning about jumping off bridges.I even watched a documentary called,"The Bridge".It was about people committing suicide by jumping off the Golden gate bridge.It was heart-wrenching and emotionally gripping.I thought about it all day.The combination of the dream,the Documentary,drugs,and disappointment in my mother left me feeling extremely sad, Saturday.I wish I never had that dream,It seems to have triggered a bi-polar episode.I haven't openly cried for awhile but,...yesterday I certainly cried a lot.
I cant stop thinking about those people who jumped.I really wanna go bungee jumping.I wanna get this urge to jump out of my system.Unlike the people in the doc,I dont wanna kill myself.I just wanna know what it feels like.I wanna know hat it feels like to hit terminal velocity,to plunge deep into the dark waters below.One of the people in the doc actually survived.I'm so intrigued by this.How?Why?Could I do the same?I hope these thoughts leave my system fast.
Labels: Bridges, family, sadness, unnerving
